Monday, August 15, 2011

Great Uncle Morse

My Great Uncle Morse has been getting some press lately on his 'choosing when to go' http://www.pressherald.com/news/choosing-when-to-go_2011-07-10.html . I find his views disturbing and unsettling from many perspectives. I am writing this post from several very personal standpoints.

Many people whom I cared for are no longer here. My Grandmother died suddenly from a heart attack when I was a child. Then I did not understand the nature of death or really grasp the tragedy of human existence. I do remember the finality of her coffin falling swiftly into its concrete tomb.

The next person close to me to pass was my best friend from college. Jerry developed a cancer and died at the young age of 22. He was diagnosed on the same week he was to be the best man at my wedding. I remembered when I visited him only several months later and not being able to shake his hand or give him a hug because the treatments destroyed his immune system. He died two weeks later.

My father was the next to go several years after Jerry. He developed tongue cancer. Although the chemotherapy and radiation treatments destroyed his body I don't believe he ever gave up on the fight to continue. I never believed that he could die, but he did on February 17th.

His father, my grandfather, persevered despite the loss of his wife and 2 sons until 6 months before his 100th birthday. Although his body failed, his mind never faltered. He died with a grace and dignity that I could only hope to follow. My only regret is that he narrowly missed meeting his two adopted great-grandchildren by two weeks. My second beloved grandfather known by us grandkids as Baboo was the next to go. Then there was our friend Joe, another WWII veteran who walked the streets of Hiroshima, and crewed a minesweeper in Tokyo Bay. Most recently, my mother-in-law Helen passed several years ago. She is sorely missed every day by my family.

In all my experiences with death, not one of my friends and relatives went gently into that 'good' night. Every one of them struggled greatly against it and sucked the very marrow of life just for a few more days, hours, minutes for more time with us.

Death is inevitable for all of us, so it should not be feared, but it is not something that should be embraced like an old friend. Death is not romantic. Its nature is awful, messy, undignified and generally horrible. Even when we euthanize our pets, do we do it for their benefit or for ours? What would they say if given a voice?

I believe my Uncle Morse is misguided and insincere in his quest for death. To fault the medical establishment for not providing a 'healing' murder is an argument from absurdity. To 'do no harm' cannot coexist with 'unless'. We do make choices on our medical care, or simply chose not to partake. Either way our fate is still in the hands of the divine not in our own hubris, guilt or weakness. I implore Uncle Morse to cease this insanity and embrace the people around him in life. Euthanasia is not a right. It is an anathema to to the human condition. Life is a gift to all of us. It should be lived fully and not cast away when it becomes uncomfortable.